Top Tips for Picking the Perfect Baby Name
By Paul Krantz
For some expectant parents, choosing the perfect name for baby-to-be is a quick and painless experience. Then there’s the rest of us: the 99 percent who agonize for months as we search for a name for a baby girl or boy that will be everything a great name should be: meaningful, memorable, melodious.
Whether you are looking for a name that is wildly popular or totally unique, experts (meaning everyone who has ever named a baby) suggest that you follow these five basic steps.
1. Cast a Wide Net
Start considering possible names as early as possible. Check out Internet sites (like TopBabyNames.com!) as well as books, friends, and relatives. Keep a notebook handy while reading or watching TV and jot down names that sound interesting. Another excellent source of ideas is your family tree. Names that provide a link to past generations can give your child a powerful sense of family. Gather as many names as possible so you’ll have plenty of options to consider.
2. Divide to Conquer
Over the months, you may very well compile a list of dozen or so possible names, or upwards of a hundred—or more! Rather than spending time fretting over each name on your list, get a sheet of paper and a pencil and draw two lines to divide the paper into three columns.
Begin working your way down your list of names. In Column A, jot down names that you feel have real promise. These are the names that your gut tells you would be more than acceptable. Column C is for those names that you just can’t abide—for whatever reason. Again, just go with your first emotion reaction. The rest of the names—the ones that make you go “hmmmm” go into Column B. (This is a great place to stash names urged upon you by well-meaning relatives who would love it if you would honor the memory of Auntie Edna.)
3. Talk the Talk
Now that the primary is over, it’s time to start interviewing the candidates. In other words, allow some time to think seriously about the names on your list. Do certain ones really speak to you? Do you find yourself having doubts about others? Don’t keep your thoughts to yourself! Surely, you’ve already started sharing your thoughts with your “co-conspirator” in this wonderful experience, but you should also be chatting up neighbors, friends, relatives, and coworkers. You’re not asking them to pick a name, or even provide specific feedback. Instead, you’re simply using outsiders as a sounding board that helps you hear your own thoughts more clearly. The more you talk about the possibilities, the more likely you will discover new depths of your own feelings.
4. Voting Off the Island
By now, you’re probably finding that certain names consistently rise to the top of your lists. Perhaps some Column B names have jumped to Column A, and vice versa.
But the time has come to vote some names off the island. The goal is to get your two lists down to one, a relative handful that you can comfortably let percolate in your thoughts. Don’t rush this step: After all, these candidates have become familiar friends over the past few weeks (or months). But do let the lesser lights go free so you can concentrate all your thoughts on the chosen few.
At this stage, it might help to list out the plusses and minuses of each name. But why bother? Choosing a name for your baby shouldn’t be a process like buying a car, where you compare features and gas mileage. Rather, it should be more like picking a mate, where emotions and reason and history combine in ways that are both mysterious and wonderful.
5. Take a Leap of Faith
At long last, the time has come. You need to put away your lists and join forces to make a final choice. Don’t fear this step. And don’t expect an outsider to “break the tie.” As they said in the commercials, just do it. Doubt and fear may creep around the edges of your mind. Pay them no attention. The choice is yours alone—and once that name becomes attached to your child, you’ll wonder what all the fuss and worry was about.
